DULCE ET DECORUM EST PRO PATRIA MORI

Heroes! 2007 will forever be remembered as being the year that was the year when the Mega Drive Tournaments went International! Not many people will remember the epic first England v Scotland football match that made football International... mainly because it happened in 1872, however, 2007 will surely live on in the memory of the masses.

IACTA ALEA EST

On Sunday 2nd September 2007, ten great and noble men picked up their controllers to represent their nation in 16-bit battling of the purest variety. Two teams of 5 people proudly assembling to engage in the duel for glory and while competition failed to live up to the promise of stupid wigs and inflatables, there were lots of flags and it was awesome. Songs will be sung of victors and vanquished alike, as history was made in the obscure, but pure, Bramcote Memorial Hall.

TEAM IRELAND

TEAM ENGLAND

Mr Smith - The 17th Mega Drive Championship was the first 16-bit event where Mr Smith's controller remained silent, having retired following his Tournament Knockout victory at the 16th Championship. Mr Smith is the most successful tournament member to date, having won eight Mega Drive Championships. The opportunity to represent Team England was too great for Mr Smith to resist and the team will be stronger. He is undefeated on Sonic 2 and extremely competent on an array of titles.

Lord Dilks (Mega Drive Champion) - Lord Dilks won his seventh Mega Drive Championship at the 17th Tournament, fending off the challenges of Doc Shakib and Commander Graham and securing the title by just 2-points. He is a master on Pete Sampras Tennis and World Cup Italia '90 and has an impressive record on Street Fighter 2. Lord Dilks will be tough to beat on most games!

Doc Shakib - Doc Shakib has won the tournament twice at the 7th and 16th Mega Drive Championships. Although an awesome player on his day, Doc Shakib has twice been relegated into Division Two at the 9th and 14th tournaments. Still, Doc Shakib remains a versitile player and, while he could only manage a 4th place finish at the 17th Tournament, he and Lord Dilks are the only players to have battled in every tournament to date.

Captain Maltby - For a long time, Captain Malty was the whipping boy of the tournaments, but he won promotion from Division Two at the 14th Tournament and won the Tournament Knockout at the 15th. While extremely weak on sports games, it is hoped Captain Maltby will be able to show why he is now a solid Division One player and his impressive 2nd place finish meant he could not be overlooked.

Lieutenant Gareth - Having finished bottom of Division One at the 17th Mega Drive Championship, there was some doubt as to whether Lieutenant Gareth had done enough to achieve a spot in Team England, or whether Earl Holbrook, who achieved promotion from Division Two should take the final place. In the end, Lieutenant Gareth's experience was the deciding factor and he was awarded the final place on the Team.

DULCE BELLUM EXPERTIS

The first blood went to Team England, with Mr Smith defeating V for Valentine, upon Mega Bomberman. While Mr Smith may have never professionally played on this title before, he showed his quality and adaptability to put 2-point on the board for the English. The next game was a first for the Mega Drive Championships, as it saw a 2 Vs 2 encounter on Pete Sampras Tennis. Lord Dilks and Doc Shakib are highly regarded on this game, however, they were unable to make this count and they lost to their Irish competitors. As Lord Dilks observed, England's lob and volley game went a bit to cock. The pendulum continued to swing, first to the English; with wins for Lieutenant Gareth and Mr Smith on Road Rash 3 and Sonic 2, before 3 wins for the Irish. Victories for Pornmonger on Columns and The SNESinator on Super Street Fighter 2 and Ball Jacks, putting Team Ireland in the lead with 8-points to England's 6. Next was an epic game of World Cup Italia '90 in which Ireland's Rod Rash took a 4-1 lead at halftime. Lord Dilks, who was undefeated in the English domestic competition, performed an incredible fightback in order to make the full-time score 6-4. A further victory for Lieutenant Gareth on WWF Wrestlemania took the English back to the top of the table, before a 4-player draw on NHL '97, a 4-player win for the Irish on NBA Jam: Tournament Edition followed by a victory for Captain Maltby placed Team England 2-points clear after 12 games.

VENI, VIDI, VICI

It seemed like the home nation were just staring to assert their experience, however, this was a tournament of 2-halves and the second half contained more of the Irish picks, which Megabomberman admitted, "we only chose those because we thought you guys would never have played them". Comfortable victories for Megabomberman on Virtua Racing and NBA Jam: Tournament Edition drew Team Ireland level, but it was on Greatest Heavyweights (slogfest) where the SNESinator annhilated Doc Shakib, putting the Irish at the top of the table, a position they would not surrender. Pornmonger and Captain Maltby thrashed out a draw on Olympic Summer Games, before four successive victories, pushed Team Ireland 12-points clear of the English, with 10-points left to play for. Megabomberman's victory on Brian Lara Cricket '96, against Mr Smith, put the title beyond doubt. Mr Smith and Lord Dilks attempted to restore some pride to the English capaign with victories on Sonic 3 and Pete Sampras Tennis to reduce the arrears to 8-points, however, wins for the Irish in the final three games placed them comfortably at the top of the table.

HONOR VIRTUTIS PRAEMIUM

Team England came far (metaphorically) only to be swept away in the second half of the competition. The bitter and foul taste of vile defeat was theirs to swallow and they return to their lives with shame and despair shadowing their every movement. Team Ireland came far (literally) and return to the Republic of Ireland as heroes, nigh Godly in their stature. Glory and adulation is theirs to bask in. Silverware in tact, they have arguably achieved more than any other five Irishmen in the history of the world. They played with their hearts, they played with courage, they played with passion, they played for their people and they were victorious.

AUDENTIS FORTUNA IUVAT

Some might say that Mega Drive is not a real sport and some reckon that 16-bit gaming is not worthy to be recognised by the Olympics. In response we say this... Any moron can run around in a circle/swim across a pool, but what was witnessed on 2nd September was sheer mental agility at it finest. The skill of the competitors made the games not only gracious, but poetic. The dexterity of the athletes was more beautiful than a million sunsets, more erotic than a million porn films, more awe-inspiring than the first moonwalk (both Neil Armstrong's and Michael Jackson's combined) and in the end everybody was a winner, but the true winners were Team Ireland. Songs will be sung, buxom ladies will dance and dream about the heroes of Mega Drive and there shall be rejoicing and merriment. This day was a day of legends.

FINAL LEAGUE TABLE

P

W

D

L

Pts

1st

Ireland

25

15

2

8

32

2nd

England

25

8

2

15

18