THE BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF TIMES: THE 25 MOST MEMORABLE MEGA DRIVE CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES - PART ONE

18th April 2010

For over nine years the Mega Drive Championships have trundled on and, no matter how much we despair at them, Mega Drive games are the core of the contest. While friendly competition, banter, coffee and two generous leaders all play a part, without Mega Drive games it would be a contest of people sitting infront of TV's staring at static... which actually doesn't sound too bad. Some games have made us laugh, some games have bought us close to tears, most games are anonymous, but then there are those that stand tall as a testament through time. Deliberated on over a good number of months, the "short"-list comprized of forty-nine epics which have since been reduced to a mere twenty-five. The best, the worst, the historic and symbolic, here is the first part of the most memorable twenty-five games produced by the Mega Drive Championships...

GAME 25: Tournament 16, Division Two, Game 5: Earl Holbrook 3 Vs 0 Old Spice Lock - Road Rash 3

Earl Holbrook had gained himself the nickname of “Cookie Monster”. While a buffet is generously provided by the Tournament Administration an additional packet of Maryland Cookies is always purchased for Earl Holbrook after he scoffed the only packet at the Fourteenth Tournament. He would earn himself a second nickname following this rather unsporting display against Old Spice Lock on Road Rash 3. Old Spice Lock was dismal on the Mega Drive and during this particular game of Road Rash he came off his bike one too many times to become “wrecked”. Fearful of losing out on points, Earl Holbrook slowed his speed to a crawl, much to the mockery of the crowd who accused him of being quicker on a push-bike and taunting him for being a “Sunday Driver.” The nickname stuck and only eventual promotion to Division One saved him from ridicule, as Road Rash 3 is not used in the higher league and although we still buy an extra packet of biscuits for him each tournament, the “Cookie Monster” would do well to avoid relegation lest his other tournamental nickname return to haunt him!

GAME 24: Tournament 15, Division One, Game 5: Captain Maltby 3 Vs 5 Lord Dilks - Micro Machines '96

Man was this a tight game! Most Micro Machines encounters are whitewash affairs, however, underdog Captain Maltby duelled courageously against Lord Dilks, defending Mega Drive Champion and best ranked player on Micro Machines ’96... it almost paid off. If the Captain hadn’t insisted on falling off the same corner on all three laps the result might have been different. This game, however, doesn’t make it into the most memorable game list for a typical underdog challenging a superior opponent, albeit ultimately failing. It earns it’s place for a brilliant piece of unsporting behaviour from Lord Dilks in what was later dubbed the “move of the tournament” it is simple, decisive, amusing and brilliant.

Download it here (0.8Mb)

GAME 23: Tournament 21, Knockout Final: Lieutenant Gareth 3 Vs 2 Earl Holbrook - Sonic 3

Had anybody told me that a game of Sonic 3 would make it into the top twenty-five most memorable tournament games for reasons other than being abject tosh, that person would have received an uppercut Sagat style. It is testament to Earl Holbrook and Lieutenant Gareth for producing a wonderful end to the Twenty-First Mega Drive Championship on a game that would be nobody’s first choice for Knockout final. That being said the Knockout Final is always a pretty special affair; held after the league fixtures have been finished this is the opportunity to have one’s name engraved upon the second most converted prize at the tournaments – the Knockout Shield. Earl Holbrook and Lieutenant Gareth have been Division One middleweights for numerous championships and being one step behind the title race, the Knockout is perhaps both men’s best opportunity to collect some silverware. Lieutenant Gareth had won the Tournament Knockout at the Eighteenth Championship, Earl Holbrook had been the losing finalist at the Seventeenth, both boasted a highest league finish of third in Division One. The pair had gone head-to-head a total of eleven times, nine wins were Lieutenant Gareth’s, Earl Holbrook had

GAME 22: Tournament 14, Division One, Game 18: Lord Dilks 6 Vs 4 Doc Shakib - Pete Sampras Tennis

The Fourteenth Mega Drive Championship marked a new age of tournaments. The spirit of friendly competition had endured, as the contests shifted locations and evolved into an event. Coffee had been a paramount factor in the tournaments, but now this was upgraded to an entire buffet. Statistically it would be fair to say that Doc Shakib was better than Baron Von Hooton. From the third to the eighth tournament he had always finished ahead of Baron Von Hooton, his league position unthreatened. Then when the Division Two was introduced at the Ninth Tournament, with the lowest Division One member facing relegation, Doc Shakib buckled and finished in fourth for the first time in history earning himself a ticket to the lower league. Doc Shakib and Baron Von Hooton returned to their “natural” league positions for the Eleventh and Twelfth tournaments before they swapped positions at the Thirteenth. So as things stood at the penultimate game of the Fourteenth Mega Drive Championship both Baron Von Hooton and Doc Shakib teetered on the brink of relegation. Level with four points each, Baron Von Hooton faced Mr Smith on an unpredictable NHL ’96 before Doc Shakib would play Lord Dilks on Pete Sampras Tennis. Therefore, with reputations at stake, nobody would have blamed Doc Shakib for feeling a warm sense of smug, as Mr Smith took control of the NHL ’96 game to establish a 4-1 lead, only for it to be repealed in place of a sense of horror as Baron Von Hooton turned the tide of the game to score three more goals and earn himself a draw. Now one-point behind Doc Shakib HAD to beat Lord Dilks to keep his Division One status. In spite of a valiant performance from Doc Shakib resulting in a surprisingly close fixture, this game wound up being boring, with little flare from either competitor. The longevity and closeness of the game was personified by a phenomenal fifty-three stroke rally, however, the rest of the game was largely anonymous and dragged on for over nineteen minutes – the longest recorded game in history. Neither man seemed to have any desire to win this match, but it was Lord Dilks who finally finished this tiring affair - Doc Shakib was relegated for the second time following this defeat.

GAME 21: Tournament 17, Division One, Game 20: Lord Dilks 17 Vs 0 Doc Shakib - World Cup Italia '90

Lieutenant Gareth and Doc Shakib had been battling at the foot of Division One for the duration of the Seventeenth Mega Drive Championship. Lieutenant Gareth had looked odds on for relegation, however, a victory over Commander Graham, on Sonic 2, in the penultimate game, pulled him level on points with Doc Shakib. Goal-difference now decided league standing; Doc Shakib with -10, Lieutenant Gareth with -27, with most games this would be a secure advantage. Doc Shakib, however, now faced Lord Dilks on the high-scoring World Cup Italia ’90, which in the past had seen some pretty hefty defeats for Doc Shakib, 11-0 at the Fourth Tournament, 17-0 at the Fourteenth Tournament and 19-1 at the Second Tournament. The mathematics were simple: If Doc Shakib were to lose by eighteen goals then he would be relegated. Defeat by seventeen goals and he and Lieutenant Gareth would be level on 4pts and -27 goal difference requiring a tiebreaker to determine final league standing. Defeat with sixteen or less and Doc Shakib would retain his place in Division One consigning Lieutenant Gareth to the drop. Of course, any form of result for Doc Shakib meant he was automatically safe, but this was a very unrealistic prospect. Lord Dilks began the game at pace and Doc Shakib rapidly found himself on the receiving end of a thrashing. The goals rifled in relentlessly and by halftime the score stood at 10-0 to Doc Shakib's detrement and relegation seemed a very realistic prospect. With fifty-five minutes on the clock, the score at 14-0, relegation seemed a nigh certainty. With his Division One status on the brink, the goals dried up and Doc Shakib started a desperate display of defending. Lord Dilks scored a fifteenth with the timer on sixty-seven minutes, just two more goals and the relegation issue would require a tiebreak, three goals and Doc Shakib would be relegated for the second time in four tournaments. Continuing to defend with all his worth, with some dogged goalkeeping as well, Doc Shakib held off the sixteenth goal until the eighty-ninth minute by which point there was not enough time for Lord Dilks to even have another attempt on goal. Status secured Lieutenant Gareth was relegated by just one goal.

GAME 20: Tournament 1, Game 2: Mr Smith 8 Vs 0 Doc Shakib - Sonic the Hedgehog 2

“Shall we have a race to see which one of us is best on Sonic 2?” Doc Shakib threw down the gauntlet to his friend, Mr Smith, one cool December day, little knowing that this was the stone that started the avalanche of Mega Drive Championships! Divisions, knock-outs, continental competitions, trophies, Portugal, Germany, Brazil and the United States of America, would not be amalgamated into an expanding 16-bit entity has this original question not been uttered. The idea of the Sonic 2 race evolved into a Sonic 2 knockout before the idea of a “triangular tournament” was suggested. The Mega Drive Championships, however, did not begin their long and contemptible illustrious history with the Doc Shakib Vs Mr Smith Sonic the Hedgehog 2 duel, but Lord Dilks battering Doc Shakib on World Cup Italia '90 (while Mr Smith typed up the fixtures). It was the second game that determined once and for all which of Doc Shakib and Mr Smith was the better player on Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and the answer was Mr Smith. What was anticipated to be a hard fought battle between two men eager to prove their ability, turned out to be a completely one-sided affair. The Emerald Hill, Casino Night, Mystic Cave and Special Stage were dominated by Mr Smith who annihilated his opponent in what was the highest score ever (and can ever be) achieved on Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and started an undefeated competitive streak both domestically and internationally.

GAME 19: Tournament 13, Game 10: Lord Dilks 6 Vs 0 Doc Shakib - Pete Sampras Tennis

“Captain Maltby’s going to miss the last game.” Baron Von Hooton declared before Lord Dilks and Doc Shakib picked up their controllers. “Don’t worry, the last game won’t miss Captain Maltby.” Mr Smith retorted. After four long years of Mega Drive Championshipary, attempts to address the biggest problem with the tournaments; predictability, had failed. The road ahead seemed apathetically inevitable and so we decided to bring the curtain down. Captain Maltby returned for the “final” tournament as attempts were made to make sure the contests went out with a bang and not a whimper. This was a watershed moment in the history of the Mega Drive Championships when the competition ended, something passed and we paused uncertainly in the tournamentless air. Changes made in previous contests blossomed at the Thirteenth Tournament; more varied games, spectator seating, six-months between competitions, tournaments not held over a series of legs all paid dividend and gave us the desire to continue. We moved forward and the foundations from the “final” Mega Drive Championship gave us the platform to build on and effect some of the most fundamental changes to the tournaments since they began. Did I mention Lord Dilks beat Doc Shakib? On Pete Sampras Tennis? Meh, who cares? This was memorable for bigger things than the game itself.

GAME 18: Tournament 1, Game 6: Doc Shakib 1 Vs 0 Mr Smith - Golden Axe

While Mr Smith and Doc Shakib had given us memorable game twenty with their first encounter on Sonic the Hedgehog 2, the First Mega Drive Championship will always be remembered for this classic battle. Mr Smith currently topped the table on goal difference and victory would put him in pole position to become the First Mega Drive Champion. At this stage in tournamental history many of the factors that would be taken for granted were unknown quantities: Mr Smith had won two games on Sonic the Hedgehog 2, but he was not yet dubbed a “Sonic God”, Lord Dilks had comprehensively beaten Doc Shakib on World Cup Italia ’90, yet there was no evidence to say he would overcome Mr Smith in the last game of the tournament. On Golden Axe things were just as inconclusive, Mr Smith had beaten Lord Dilks 2-0 in the fourth fixture, while Lord Dilks had beaten Doc Shakib 4-0 in the following fixture. On paper it would be logical to predict that Mr Smith would beat Doc Shakib in their impending Golden Axe game. The First Mega Drive Championship would also be remembered as the place where the Golden Axe characters earned their tournament nicknames. Each member took custody of a single character; Lord Dilks, courageous and valiant, selected the Amazonian Tyris Flair, whom he dubbed “Hannah”. Doc Shakib, skilful and strong, opted for the slender sword of Ax Battler, to whom he bestowed the name “Mike”. Mr Smith, dexterous and resourceful, chose the dwarf Gillius Thunderhead, upon which the name “Jimmy” was granted – actually there is quite a funny story behind the name “Jimmy”, actually it’s not that funny, but regardless I am not going to regale the full account here. Moving swiftly away from this tangent, the game of Golden Axe between Doc Shakib and Mr Smith, on the bridge in Level 5, turned out to be a the closest affair of the entire First Tournament. The passion it produced, as the bars of health fell away and the fate of the Championship remained shrouded, was a great inspiration for holding a Second Mega Drive Championship at a time when this was intended to be a stand alone event. Doc Shakib narrowly beat Mr Smith 1-0 and so started a three-way duel for supremacy on Golden Axe and Golden Axe 2, between Doc Shakib, Lord Dilks and Mr Smith, that, in spite of the three men duelling in sixteen tournaments together, was never resolved. Although Mr Smith was defeated, two wins from his next two games awarded him the honour of being crowned the First Mega Drive Champion. Special credit goes to Doc Shakib who, even as late as the Twenty-First Mega Drive Championship, still persists in using Mike and, while others often spurn this character, Doc Shakib has honed his swordsmanship to an impressively effective art.

GAME 17: Tournament 19, The Challenge: Commander Graham - Sonic the Hedgehog

The Challenge for the 19th Mega Drive Championship was the original Sonic the Hedgehog. The blurb for the competition was to score the fastest time in Green Hill Zone Act 1 – fiendishly simple! While the Sonic Center had the fasted time clocked at 24 seconds, our members had just one chance, under pressure, to give their best speed run. The order in which they played was determined at random and, as fate would have it, Commander Graham went last. He had been one of a number of members who had been training tirelessly (well tirelessly is perhaps an exaggeration) to reduce his time and the rumours circulating along the metaphorical tournamental grapevine was that the Commander had achieved a highly respectable time of 27 seconds. Under the intense scrutiny of their peers many of the members found themselves unable to produce their best under pressure and, with Commander Graham the last player to attempt the Challenge competition, the benchmark time was 29 seconds achieved by Professor King. Based on his training his was a beatable target. Commander Graham made his first stumble at a certain blue rock, atop of three steps and two crab-o-meats approximately ten seconds in, which had thwarted every player thus far (except Old Spice Lock, who had died before reaching it) but he was still on course for a blistering performance, however, at the bottom of the s-bends following the loop, Commander Graham made his second error and mistimed the jump that would have undoubtedly gifted him victory. With the seconds piling on he sprinted for the line, only to watch 30 seconds appear on the clock, the Sonic the Hedgehog Challenge was won by Professor King.

GAME 16: Tournament 14, Knockout Final: Mr Smith 2 Vs 1 Lieutenant Gareth - Super Street Fighter 2

Lord Dilks had won the league, Doc Shakib had been condemned to relegation, Lieutenant Gareth and Captain Maltby had been promoted from Division Two, The one competition that remained was the Tournament Knockout. Mr Smith, seven times tournament winner, had reached the final with victories against Doc Shakib and Dame Yada. Lieutenant Gareth secured his place in the final two by beating Baron Von Hooton and Captain Maltby. Super Street Fighter 2 was the game that inspired the Knockout and now Division One would face Division Two before the curtain fell on the Fourteenth Mega Drive Championship. Lieutenant Gareth selected Vega while Mr Smith chose the slightly faster Chun-Li. It was the Division Two member who started quickest and caught Mr Smith on the backfoot. With a frantic and strong offence, Lieutenant Gareth took the first round after 42 seconds, his barrage of swift kicks too much for his opponent to handle, much to the delight of the crowd who smelt victory for the underdog. Mr Smith played a more defensive second round, opting to absorb Lieutenant Gareth’s attacks and counter at opportune moments, he levelled the score with over half his own energy bar intact. The finale went right to the wire, with a more effective Lieutenant Gareth causing damage to his opponent who remained ruthless in seizing upon any opportunity to counter. With health bars virtually equal, the final blow went to Mr Smith, much to the disappointment of the crowd.

GAME 15: Tournament 16, Knockout Final: Mr Smith 1 Vs 0 Lord Dilks - Golden Axe 2

Mr Smith was a colossus in the Mega Drive Championships, ranked the best player overall he had just one rival and that was Lord Dilks. Between them the pair had won all the Mega Drive Championships, to this point, with the exception of the Seventh Tournament. Now it was time for Mr Smith to hang up his controller and give up the gameplay. Participating in the Sixteenth Mega Drive Championship’s Tournament Knockout, Mr Smith careered past two potentially difficult opponents; Doc Shakib on Sonic 3 and Lieutenant Gareth on Columns in order to book himself one last game; the Knockout Final. As fate would have it, his final domestic tournament game was against his old rival, Lord Dilks, who had beaten equally difficult opponents Captain Maltby on Road Rash 3 (a game that was shortlisted for the top 25) and Baron Von Hooton on Eternal Champions. The Knockout Final was on Golden Axe 2 was a game where both men excelled and had been the scene of some epic battles in the past. In spite of the final 1-0 score, Mr Smith was always one step ahead of his rival and never really seemed likely to lose. His final game was a victory, winning the Knockout for the second time in his history and ending his illustrious career with a win over his rival. Eight times Mega Drive Champion, twice Knockout Winner, Sonic God and legend. This was his curtain call and Mr Smith bowed out of the Mega Drive Championships shrowded with victory in the air of triumph. “Great final, guys.” Commander Graham declared amidst the hearty applause for the end of an era.

GAME 14: Tournament 5, Game 24: Captain Maltby 0 Vs 44 Lord Dilks - World Cup Italia '90

As opposed to accepting a forfeit it was decided Captain Maltby would play Lord Dilks in what would be an inevitable defeat. Lord Dilks had previously thrashed Captain Maltby 19-1, 21-0 and 17-1, but what occurred here was a complete capitulation from Captain Maltby who was so unenamoured at the prospect of this game he played the majority of it with his feet! Not only the highest score ever achieved in the Mega Drive Championships, the game was made all the more famous by Baron Von Hooton interjecting every couple of minutes to encourage Lord Dilks to “get fifty”- a quote still repeated during high-scoring games. Prior to this game the high-score was a badge of honour, but the ridiculous 44-0 scoreline rendered the battle to achieve a high score obsolete and with it faded the prestige.

GAME 13: Tournament 16, Division Two, Game 20: Baron Von Hooton 1 Vs 2 Professor King - Streets of Rage 2

The circumstances of these two men, thrown together at the end of a gruellingly passionate tournament, could not have been different. Baron Von Hooton was participating in his thirteenth successive Championship, having been relegated from Division One at the previous tournament. A win would earn him a place back among the elite of Division One. Professor King was debuting in the Mega Drive Championships and was resting in fourth-place. In an all Axel fight in Stage 7 (the one with the conveyer belts) the pair faced off. Baron Von Hooton took the first round convincingly, using a metal pole to aid his cause (am I the only one who thinks the pole swings in Streets of Rage are superior to its sequel games?). One more round stood between Baron Von Hooton and a return to Division One. Round two began and

Professor King was quick to pull the game level. Utilising the A-Button and the conveyer belts, Professor King efficiently dispatched his opponent in less than twenty-seconds setting up a tantalising final round. This turned into a frantic offensive and it was Professor King who proved more lively and claimed the win that denied Baron Von Hooton an immediate return to Division One, Commander Graham was promoted instead.

GAME 12: Tournament 9, Knockout Final: Baron Von Hooton 0 Vs 3 Sir Jackaman - European Club Soccer

The Tournament Knockout made its first appearance at the Ninth Mega Drive Championship. With the expansion of the league competition to two divisions, it was decided that a competition in the form of a single game elimination would give the new Division Two members the opportunity to play their more established Division One counterparts. Nobody, ever, in the entire history of the universe, would deem European Club Soccer a good game. Hell, somebody who reckons this game is moderately tedious is giving it a huge compliment. Never the less, European Club Soccer was regrettably drawn at random as the first Knockout final and the two men destined to endure this were Sir Jackaman, who had overcome Lord Dilks and Private Mary, and Baron Von Hooton, who had beaten Professor Mizutani and Mr Smith in order to book his place in the last two. Some might deem this encounter as a triumph for Division Two as the lower league member, Sir Jackaman, stuffed three goals past the long-serving Division One member Baron Von Hooton, but the reality was this was a terrible game made famous by its place in the history of Mega Drive Championshipary.

GAME 11: Tournament 8, Game 6: Lord Dilks 1 Vs 2 Mr Smith - Super Street Fighter 2

Let’s be perfectly honest; we were absolute morons for not including Super Street Fighter 2 from the off. The game is the ultimate in competitive 16-bit battles, but it did not debut until the first game of the Eighth Mega Drive Championship. When tournament legends Lord Dilks and Mr Smith were drawn to play in the sixth fixture the classic expected, between two men at the pinnacle of their 16-bit prowess, was delivered. Mr Smith selected the claw of Vega while Lord Dilks opted for the iron fist of M. Bison, both men confessing these characters are not their strongest (so why they chose them is a little bit mysterious). In the U.S.S.R. they duelled, Lord Dilks claimed the first round by convincingly hammering his opponent, but Mr Smith rallied in the second round in order to win what was a much closer affair. This set the scene for the third round, in which the two rivals remained deadlocked until the tensest of ends. Both men launched a jump attack and both health bars were reduced to zero as the characters fell back. Unbelievably it seemed that a double K.O. had been achieved and that a final round would be required to determine the victor. But, in midair, Vega somersaulted and amazingly landed upon his feet. Mr Smith scored nothing as a vitality bonus, but the victory was his.