An Interview With Lord Dilks

Taken shortly after the Fifth Tournament

Tournament HQ: So Lord Dilks, twice champion, twice runner-up, it must have been a great disappointment finishing third.

Lord Dilks: It wasn’t a disappointment to come third. It was a supreme honour to take part at all after my life threatening condition. To challenge Doctor Shakib who had no illness whatsoever, in my eyes, is not bad going.

Tournament HQ: You are undisputedly the best player on World Cup Italia 90. Do you think you’ll ever be challenged?

Lord Dilks: No next question.

Tournament HQ: After your latest performance do you think that you can realistically challenge your archrival Mr Smith for the title?

Lord Dilks: Yes. I had a perfectly good excuse for coming third this time round. Many people see the result of the fifth tournament as a reflection of my all round Mega Drive ability. I disagree and believe the result showed no reflection whatsoever.

Tournament HQ: Do you feel that Doc Shakib will ever become the Mega Drive Champion or will he have to be satisfied as a runner-up?

Lord Dilks: Doc Shakib has my greatest respects, however, I can’t help thinking he was lucky to get into himself into second. He is either going to have to get himself an unrealistic double dose of luck or become a damn sight better.

Tournament HQ: As far a Baron Von Hooton is concerned, how do you think he’ll cope without Captain Maltby there?

Lord Dilks: Not very well. He has recently got his Mega Drive back therefore needs to use it to his advantage.

Tournament HQ: Who do you see as your biggest rival in the Sixth Doc Shakib or Mr Smith?

Lord Dilks: Mr Smith for he is my nemesis.

Tournament HQ: How does battling in the tournament compare with normal two-players?

Lord Dilks: There’s a vast difference due to the enormous amounts of tension and passion that is involved in tournament clashes.

Tournament HQ: What games would you have in your ideal tournament?

Lord Dilks: World Cup Italia 90, Sonic 2, Streets of Rage 2 and Pete Sampras Tennis.

Tournament HQ: Which Mega Drive game do you like best and why?

Lord Dilks: FIFA '95. It is a fantastic footy simulation and better than the ones that followed.

Tournament HQ: What is you first memory of the Mega Drive?

Lord Dilks: Playing on it at Baron Von Hooton’s house.

Tournament HQ: Which clashes in the tournament make you nervous?

Lord Dilks: None I don’t get nervous. I’m capable of doing well in all four so I have no need to worry.

Tournament HQ: Could you describe yourself in three words?

Lord Dilks: Relaxed, sophisticated and non-modest.

Tournament HQ: What do you hate most about yourself?

Lord Dilks: My temper, which can sometimes be erratic.

Tournament HQ: What would be the first thing you did if you ruled the world?

Lord Dilks: Ban club music.

Tournament HQ: Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

Lord Dilks: If all goes according to plan I’d be in a penthouse in Pittsburgh. That’s if everything goes to plan.

Tournament HQ: Lord Dilks thank you for your time.