The Mr Smith Order of Merit (Not Awarded for Merit)
Updated: July 2017
It is a supreme honour for you all that I have decided to establish the Mr Smith Order of Merit for the Mega Drive Championships. Through this award, I hope to acknowledge the unsung heroes of Mega Drive Championshippery. This award is for those whom I feel captivate the true spirit of the competitions through controversy, ridiculousness and randomness.
The Mega Drive Champion shall get to lift the coveted trophy, however, starting in 2017, one lucky person shall be awarded a marrow in recognition of their achievement; for a magic or pointless moment of Mega Drive history that would otherwise go unrecorded in our annuals.
It is certainly not my intention to award the Mr Smith Order of Merit on merit and I am open to both bias and bribes for the distribution of this award. Of course, I also have to be paying attention in order for you to win this amazing distinction.
I look forward to awarding the Mr Smith Order of Merit to one individual player at the 2017 Mega Drive Championship and at future events.
Wishing everybody the best of luck,
Mr Smith LLB (Hons) LLM. Founder of the Mr Smith Order of Merit.
Mr Smith's Suggests: Cut the marrow in half longways, use a spoon and scoop out the seeds (you will require a spoon for this). Finely dice/chop/whatever an onion and mix with 500g of pork mince and some chorizo cubes, add salt, pepper and any herbs you feel inclined to add (or smoked paprika and chilli powder if you want) and a squirt of tomato puree. Mix these well and place where seeds were removed from. Cook on 200 degrees Celsius for about 35-minutes or so, remove and grate cheese over the top, return to the oven and cook for a further 10/15 minutes or until the cheese melts and starts to brown. Serve. You're welcome... Unless you're a vegetarian... maybe lentils, tomatoes and onions?
Recipients of the Mr Smith Order of Merit
2017 Mega Drive Championship: Gareth Smith
The battle to be awarded with the Mr Smith Order of Merit was so subtle it almost appeared that nobody cared. However, unbeknown to the participants of the 2017 Mega Drive Championship, there was some fierce competition to obtain the Mr Smith Order of Merit and the beautiful marrow that accompanied the distinction.
Among some of the contenders were:
• Ross Willett waltzing in late to the competition and casually excusing himself with an announcement that he was still drunk from the previous evening.
• Giel van Rijn for getting in the way of his team mate, Jurriaan Mars, returning a shot on Pete Sampras Tennis and costing the pair a point.
• Gareth Smith for an extremely aggressive move on Micro Machines '96, pushing Derek Wheatley from the track and into the water, before driving himself into the water... Micro Machines '96 gets a special mention for the game in which the on-screen avatars were tactfully named "Hitler", "Goering" and "Cock".
• Derek Wheatley effectively performing Trident's useless liquid mode move was always going to meet with approval.
The winner, however, was Gareth, for his wonderful and unsporting display on the elevator level on Streets of Rage. Instead of getting involved in a mean and gritty fight with his opponent, Jay Townsend, Gareth simply hopped onto the side of the elevator allowing Jay to deal with the waves of enemies. Against a less skilful opponent this tactic would have undoubtedly worked. However, Jay successfully fought of the first wave and, as the elevator rose turned his attention to his true enemy... who responded with back attacks and successfully commanded his perch. The next horde of adversaries came along and even a hurled knife did nothing to dislodge Gareth. The life bars remained quite close, but throughout Jay remained on the back foot. However, in a true twist of irony, a yellow signal did what Jay had been incapable of and tossed Gareth over the edge of the elevator and to his doom. Karma may be a bitch, however, when it comes with the coveted Mr Smith Merit of Order and a prize marrow, it really isn't too bad.
July 2017: Lord Dilks (Lifetime Achievement Award)
It is my absolute privilege to bestow the first Mr Smith Order of Merit upon former tournament member and co-founder of the Mega Drive Championships, Lord Dilks, as a lifetime achievement award. In many ways, during his time participating in the tournaments, Lord Dilks represented the embodiment of the Mr Smith Order of Merit, with many moments worthy of this distinction, however, since this is a new award, he could not previously obtain this fine accolade.
While Lord Dilks was instrumental in the creation of the Tournament in 2001, continues to run the competitions with myself and has lifted the Mega Drive Championship trophy on eight occasions, it is not these that warrants for him this lifetime achievement award. Winning the epic "Battle of Mike and Hannah" at the 4th Tournament was reward in itself, as it also clinched him the tournament title. During the 5th Mega Drive Championship, Lord Dilks underwent surgery yet still attended the tournament, being pushed to the event in a wheelchair. At the 7th Championship, Lord Dilks was appointed the Head of Tournament Security, a title he reminds me of constantly, yet remains largely a ceremonial and pointless one. He proudly achieved the first league and knockout double at the 10th Tournament, something only two other players would go on and achieve.
However, without being bothered to think too much about Lord Dilks' long and illustrious Mega Drive Championship history, the moment that makes him most worthy of the Mr Smith Order of Merit was at the 15th Tournament. On Micro Machines '96, when starting on a log that bridged two roofs, Lord Dilks immediately shunted his opponent off the bridge and drove off to claim the point; simple, masterful and easily deserved of the first Mr Smith Order of Merit.